The world thinks its getting better at accepting mental health problems, people think yes I get what depression is, yes I feel anxious. Who honestly outside the mentally ill world has heard of BPD? How are we meant to realise that is what we have when no one talks about it and shares their experience. I was told by countless numbers of medical and mental health specialists that it was depression and take this medication it will work. So for years I thought this was what depression looked like. I also thought what is wrong with me, they say this treatment will work but it never does.
My diagnosis of a strange disorder no one has ever heard of is both a blessing and a curse in one. A blessing to hear that it has a name, I’m not alone, I’m not just losing the plot, I have an actual real illness that explains how I am. Anyone who has ever known me in real life will definitely have at some point thought: “what is her problem?” “She’s so weird!” “what on earth is wrong with her?”. Now I finally have an answer. But it is also a curse. I have a name for it, am told it is treatable with psychological intervention. But then hear nothing for months and have to fight my corner for any kind of support. Borderline Personality Disorder needs to be in conversations as much as Depression and Anxiety are. By writing this I hope I help one person to learn something or even someone feeling similar to know they are not alone.
I am Borderline.
