Who am I?

 I feel like I've lost myself. No I feel like I never really knew who I was.

I try to be with others expect me to be. But that isn't the real me.

So who am I? Who is the real me? 

After 30 years of masking my quirky personality and real me how do I find her?

How do I know what is real me? I have no idea. 

Society's ideas for is to fit in to be accepted is so toxic. I've masked so much I don't know where the real me even is.

Someone likes me and I crave company and to be accepted so much that I latch on like a little puppy dog, just happy to be included and wanted. I have ended up in situations I didn't want to be in, doing things I would never do because of this at different parts in my life. None of them are me, they are the me the person who I'm attached to wants me to be.

I'm numb. I'm burnout. I'm a shadow. Not a real person.

How do I find her? The real me?